After running into so many STOOPID people and STOOPED situations on the road, I started to realize my best way for desensitizing would have to be done where I wouldn't run into anyone else.
Other people bring out the emotions; the hatred, the disgust, every unholy emotion they invoke in me.
Being alone is the only way I'll ever desensitize. Where they can't reach me until there's nothing left to reach.
The only problem with going home is that I haven't been there to keep the blood on the wall fresh.
*shudders*
I don't know what's become of the monster behind the wall, or any of the people I left behind in different forms of punishment.
When I got to the house, things didn't really look good.
The door's been broken, out. It's laying in pieces all over the yard.
From the looks of the decaying body pieces, the monster got out of the wall...
I stepped carefully inside the door, and had a look around, more body parts in various stages of decay.
The SMELL was so FOOKIN horrible I gagged a bit.
Interesting. I usually have a strong stomach when it comes to body parts, but the smell of their flesh rot makes my stomach clench.
Good thing I haven't eaten this week, or I would probably just add to this mess.
The living room was the worst, the further I got in the house, the less blood I seemed to find.
So far.
Going to the basement I found all the bodies that had been hung on the wall were dead, the monster tore through them all on his way past.
Flesh had been ripped open savagely, notably worse than a serrated edged blade or a chain saw.
Or even those little turkey slicers they have... for Thanksgiving to 'carve' the turkey all ritual like... and it only stays in a drawer for the rest of the entire year...
Well anyhow, that monster sure did a number on them. Kept underground in this damp environment the smell wasn't so bad either. More moldy than rotty.
In the first subbasement I found more of the same, bodies on the wall still in their shackles, more than obviously ripped apart by something not of this world.
But the question is still this; of what world?
I never got to see it.
The beast that kept me here, painting BLUD on that stupid fookin wall!
I TOUCHED IT!!!!
And the people!
So many FUCKING IGNORANT PEOPLE that deserved to die in slower ways, the pain drug out so that they beg and plead and promise how sorry they are for what they'd done.
So many failed experiments and so much work gone.
After a few more subbasements past of the same thing, I come to the room the wall was in.
Every part of me doesn't want to see it, but yet there's this voice saying I have to. It sounds vaguely like Nail Bunny....
I opened the door so carefully, so slowly, so quietly, almost as if I expected that DAMNED wall to start calling me to it again, demanding the BLOOD!
But that call never came.
I tossed the door open, and felt nothing.
There was the wall, across the empty room, big copper stain where the blood finally dried.
As if it was looking at me in horror that I quit feeding it's need for disgusTING bodily fluids....
I walked up to it cautiously, every nerve in my body wanting to run the other direction, but my mind..... my mind wanted to see it, to touch it, to know.
I gazed at the wall, seeing no sign of anything more than a dried blood stained regular wall.
I ran my hand over it, the blood was dry, but it still made me cringe to touch where I had spread it before, the thick, dark liquid, with a paintbrush.
Nothing. Not a damned thing.
No sign of how the monster got through, no squishy-throbby effects as if it were a portal to another world... NOTHING!
Had I dreamed it all?
Did I do all of this, and not remember?
If not for the carnage upstairs I would believe everything had just been some horrible nightmare, some hallucination.
But I don't sleep enough to dream even nightmares, the days blend into one another and everything becomes so foggy....
No! It was here. IT WAS FUCKING HERE!
I DID NOT IMAGINE THAT!
I punched the wall, in the dried-blood stain, and it hurt my hand.
I ignored it and moved on, slamming the door behind me in anger.
IT WAS THERE.
Going into another room I hear a noise, as I open the door.
There on a rack a man was strung out, stretched..... pretty far....
He was trembling, and when he saw me he freaked out.
"GET ME OUTTA HERE MAN! THERE"S A MONSTER.... AND THE HOUSE!!! THE HOUSE IS ALIVE!!!! YOU GOTTA LET ME GO!!!"
Not in the mood to face more stupid people I walked up unceremonious and twisted his head quickly, breaking his neck, killing him.
As I listened to the death rattles I shook my head.
I got nothing from that. Nothing.
Going a floor lower, I found nothing down this far had been touched.
I found a room that only had one thing in it, a drawing table.
And I sat down and started righting this.
I'm feeling a bit suicidal again.
I should be happy, the monster is gone, the wall doesn't make me bring it blood anymore.
This house is still not like a real house, but it's not demanding I play in body fluids or smear stuff in any other areas.
But there's nothing.
No Nail Bunny, No Burger-Boys, No throbbing walls and hungry monsters, just me.
I would like to try and kill myself again, without having anything to do for this house I am nothing but a flusher.
And I don't want to flush.

I want to go over the stars....











But I can't find a gun.